Wednesday, June 25, 2008

It's Wednesday

And that doesn't mean it's business time, sorry flying conchords. Today is one of those days when you don't feel great. It's not that there is really anything necessarily wrong, it's just not a WOW I'm excited about life day. Work is dull here in the cave; but I am just sending a bunch of catalog information for review. On the other hand, I've finished that and have been looking at how to make good mobile web sites, and that's actually pretty interesting to me. I'm interested to know how to read a device, to process that it is the one accessing the site and not say a laptop or desktop, and therefore send it to the light or mobile version of the site. But besides that, I just don't feel like I'm doing much with my life; doing something significant. I don't even know what is significant. I should hate that desire to become part of the world historical. But how do I fight for the ethical? Of course, it is always there. But how do I apply myself to an ethical sphere that is fulfilling? Yet again, I know my laziness. I don't know if I could take on anything too big. I really should go back to fighting pornography. I'm also missing out on some hobbies; I should rededicate myself to rock climbing and piano playing and racquetball. But those things don't even sound the most appealing. I suppose I'm a tad sad about other things too; more general things I feel a little queezy over. Uncertainties like death, making the most of time. All that great existential angst over an experience I know nothing about. The pretense of ignorance. But for one who does not like ignorance, it is hard.

I also care about Lindsay and our relationship. How I do I contribute to it better? Where do I see it going? How do I strengthen it and where should it go? These are all fun and good questions, and I suppose it is comforting that I don't know it all well at the moment. I also wonder about my relationships with my friends... Why am I not contributing more? Tough ones.